A Giant Among Men

Biopics can be victims of narrative cliches. But, when done right, the hope is a subject’s larger-than-life persona can break the mold.

Wrestler Andre the Giant was, if anything, larger than life.  His story deserves a shot.

Born in France in ’46, André Roussimoff seemed destined for a life of pathos.  He suffered from acromegaly, his body producing an outsized supply of growth hormone that resulted in constant pain through his short time on earth.  He was given a lifespan of about 40 years.

He was 5’10” at age 12, and over 6’10” at age 18, sporting size 26 shoes.  He lived life to the fullest, drinking to an almost comical level.  During one a six-hour period, Andre drank 119 beers.  His hotel bar tab during the filming of “The Princess Bride” was supposedly $40,000.  He once  at 12 steaks and 15 lobsters during a single dinner.

In 1976, the Washington Redskins wanted to recruit Andre to play a defensive linebacker only during an opponent’s attempts at extra points and field goals (could he just wave his arms and block everything?).

Author Oliver Hurley, who wrote a book called “Wrestling’s 101 Strangest Matches,” recounted a 1992 match between Andre and Bad News Brown:

“Midway through the bout, he faced off against Bad News Brown Andre was dictating what would happen in the ring, known in the trade as calling the spots. As he threw Bad News into the corner, he muttered to him, ‘Big ass, boss.’ (Andre called everyone ‘boss’.) This verbal shorthand told BNB to remain slumped in the corner as Andre was about to hit him with one of his trademark moves, in which he would turn his back to his opponent, grab hold of the ropes and – there’s no delicate way to put this – thrust his enormous arse into his adversary, supposedly crushing him in the corner.

The combination of the collision and the copious volume of booze he had taken on board meant that, as soon as Andre hit Bad News, he lost any control he once had over his bowels. Liquid feces dribbled out of his wrestling singlet and all over Bad News Brown’s chest. Bad News fell out of the ring and, resisting the urge to throw up, pelted back to the dressing room. His tag team partners continued the contest without him, once they’d finished laughing at his predicament. As Bad News passed fans on his way backstage, they shouted, ‘Wow, what is that smell?’ having presumably never been confronted by a wrestler covered in diarrhea before.

Bad News jumped straight into the showers, while still wearing his wrestling trunks and boots, in a bid to clean himself up. But despite having been shat upon by a giant, he remained remarkably sanguine about the incident: “I felt sorry for the guy.”

From the late 1960s to the mid 80s, Andre the Giant was the highest paid professional wrestler, even though he hated Hulk Hogan.

He seemed to have a lot of people in his life, but not many friends.  He was estranged from his daughter.

Andre died of heart failure on the night of January 27, 1993, in a Paris hotel room.  He had expressed his wishes to be cremated in France, but according to CBS Sports, there wasn’t a crematorium big enough to handle the job, so his body was flown back to the US.

Development people?  Time to tell a Giant Tale.

Obey.